USING MENTAL TOOLS

We all engage in an internal dialogue with ourselves which serves the double function of shaping our view of the world and then allowing us to express that view. It’s often referred to as “self talk”. This is very different from “talking to yourself” out loud which will get you strange looks if you do it too much.

Let me give you an example.

Two friends ride on a roller coaster together. As they are exit the ride, one says, “That was awesome!!”. The other one comments, “That was awful.”. Their self talk probably went something like this:

I think I’m going to die.                                              This is so much fun.

I’m really scared.                                                        This is scary but I know there are

                                                                                    safety precautions to protect me.

This is never going to end.                                          The ride lasts only a few minutes.

I can’t stand this.                                                        This is the nearest thing to flying.

I ‘m going to be sick.                                                  I can close my eyes if I need to.

I have to get off now.                                                   I have a friend right beside me.

I’m never going to do this again.                                 I’ve done it!

 Which one is right?

The answer is, of course, both. They did have the same experience but their internal “self talk” influenced their perception of it

 The point of all this is – if self talk does determine how we perceive a situation which in turns affects how we react to it, then IT IS POSSIBLE TO PURPOSEFULLY USE SELF TALK WHICH CREATES A POSITIVE PERCEPTION WHICH REDUCES THE NEGATIVE REACTION. This idea is frequently referred to as cognitive restructuring.

 We’re going to take a little different approach with a special tool called MENTAL MAGNETS.

 If you’ve ever played with or used a magnet, then you know how they latch onto a metal object whenever they get close to it. And they stick there. What we’re going to develop are a list of “Mental Magnets” which are positive statements which can latch onto the negative thoughts from your “Top Five” list whenever you use them.

Based on approximately 2,000 years of studying and teaching public speaking (Aristotle and Plato made their living as speech teachers), there are some things we know to be pretty true:

¨     No audience is as aware of your nervousness as you are

¨     Most of the time people don’t notice your little mistakes as much as you do.

¨     Public speaking is a skill. If I follow the step by step process, I can do this.

¨     No one can give a perfect speech.

¨     Everyone experiences some nervousness before giving a speech.

¨     Just because I’m nervous doesn’t mean I can’t give a good speech.

¨     A few mistakes will not ruin my speech.

¨     These people can benefit from what I have to share with them.

¨     I have done the best I can to prepare for this speech.

¨     Even if I make a mistake, I can learn from it and improve the next time.

¨     The audience knows how I feel and is rooting for me.

¨     I talk to people all day long. This kind of speaking is not that different.

¨     The world will not end even if I really mess up.

 ACCESS YOUR PERSONAL GAME PLAN AND YOUR "TOP FIVE" LIST OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.  LOOK OVER THE ABOVE LIST AND FIND STATEMENTS WHICH SEEM TO BE THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. THESE WILL BE YOUR “MENTAL MAGNETS” WHICH WILL LATCH ON TO YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WHENEVER THEY APPEAR!

SOME OTHER HELPFUL MENTAL TECHNIQUES

 Positive Visualization

You’re lying awake the night before a speech. You’re imagining all the things that could go wrong.

How successful do you think a professional baseball player would be if he stood at bat thinking “I’m gonna strike out. I’m gonna strike out.”

Many athletes receive training in the technique of positive visualization. This techniques involves creating a mental image of success instead of failure.

 Create a detailed mental list of the steps in giving a speech. Start at the point at which you think you will begin to experience anxiety.

For example:

¨     Putting the finishing touches on your speech the night before

¨     Going to bed the night before the speech

¨     Getting ready for school the morning of your speech

¨     Arriving at the classroom

¨     Sitting in class waiting for your turn

¨     Getting up to deliver the speech

¨     Walking to the podium

¨     Standing at the podium and looking at your audience

¨     Beginning your speech

¨     Delivering the body of your speech

¨     Ending your speech

¨     Returning to your seat after your speech

 NOW…go back through these steps and imagine yourself doing it very well. You are confident and at ease. The audience is interested and attentive. You complete each step just as you planned. Appreciate your success.

 Developing the right mental approach is key to coping with speech anxiety. Now let's look at the Physical Tools section to find out about some ways to help you feel more relaxed physically.